Stop Using Exhaustion as a Status Symbol Be Willing to Play and Rest, If You Want to Be Wealthy
Shame was a powerful compliance tool used in my upbringing - and no shame felt worse than being called lazy!
Not “pulling your weight”
Not “doing your share”
Not “being productive,
Not “proving your worth” ...
… were crimes deserving exile from the tribe!
Being considered lazy (and the implied selfishness that goes with it) is still a HUGE trigger for me…
… and something I have to consciously work on.
I’m not alone.
It seems most adults struggle with the concepts of play and rest because of the stigma of “laziness.”
And it’s costing us dearly.
Exhaustion in the name of productivity has become a “badge of honour” for many.
Production for production's sake is eating us, our joy and our earth alive.
The “more monster” is running the show, cracking the whip and demanding MORE!
Research shows that play and rest are essential parts of living a wealthy life and lead actually to higher rates of productivity (and significantly higher creativity and problem solving) than overworking.
Play and rest also ensure we are able to take in the gift of life itself.
In the money management system Wealth Pie - one of the money allocation categories is PLAY or if you prefer - YOUR JOY POT.
For many in The Wealth Builder Club - spending this money just on fun, play and joy inducing activities is HARD!
Before we dive into why it is so damn hard let’s make sure we understand what it even is.
Let’s look at PLAY
"We don’t stop playing because we grow old;
we grow old because we stop playing.”
George Bernard Shaw
Brene Brown writes about this her great book “The Power of Vulnerability”.
She shares that “Play” has three elements:
💃 It’s time spent without purpose.
💃 It’s something you don’t want to end.
💃 It leads to a loss of self-consciousness.
Play helps alleviate stress and generates joy as you allow yourself to get lost in an activity without stakes.
Few adults willingly engage in play out of fear of being viewed as “childish.”
However, a lack of play is directly related to increased levels of depression and aggression.
Find your personal definition of play.
Just like your wealthy life, play means something different for everyone.
Do you delight in…
- Board games (that’s me and Nic)?
- Dressing up?
- Recreational sports - fancy some croquet?
- Kinky sex with delicious power play?
- Crafts or puzzles - or being greedy and loving both?
- Losing yourself in music or a great book?
- Dancing in their kitchen or down the street?
Actually I love all of the above LOL.
Doing a fun paint by numbers as a play activity. Getting to look at this view and share the moment with that cool dude helps too.
The point is, there isn’t a right or a wrong way to play as long as the activity fits within the properties of play:
💃 Time spent without productive purpose.
💃 Something you don’t want to end.
💃 You lose self-consciousness.
GO ON A JOY HUNT
Since most adults have forgotten how to play, set yourself a fun task to discover what your play things might be.
- Discover the activities that bring you joy and relaxation.
Be honest with yourself.
You don’t have to love the things that the people around you love.
Play does NOT need to cost much to make it deeply effective.
Get curious, think back to your childhood, to times you’ve just delighted in being alive. Times when time itself has disappeared. - Discover the joy things that overlap with your family and friends. If you can find one or two activities that you can do with your lover, your friends, your siblings, your kids… you will significantly magnify the joy you get because now you get all the benefits from connection too.
An important note.
Contest is part of play, but competition isn’t.
Nic and I LOVE playing board and card games together.
It is ALWAYS a contest.
We always have a reward and often that reward is linked to even more play 😉
But play is never about a winner or loser!
A contest consists of a challenge that involves putting people at odds with one another.
Competition takes that one step further, requiring a winner and a loser. Competition creates pressure to come out on top and attaches self-worth to victory and failure and loss of status for the loser.
Contest delights in the process.
Competition is about the end result.
Nic fiercely planning his next move in one of our favourite card games - Century.
Animals and Contest
Many animals engage in playful contests with one another. They’ll even handicap themselves to make playtime last longer. For example, in a wrestling match between two dogs, the stronger one will often allow the weaker one to gain the occasional advantage so they can play longer.
In most cases, animals don’t engage in competition unless there are actual stakes involved. For example, lions engaged in a fight to see who will control territory is a competition. The fight requires a winner and a loser and will dictate the future of the pride.
Rest
Many adults are in “sleep debt,” meaning they’ve gone more than two consecutive nights with less than seven hours of sleep.
While a significant number of people believe they’re fine living with sleep debt, researchers have discovered that no one functions at their peak without sufficient rest.
In fact, sleep deprivation has been linked to:
- Cancer
- Obesity
- Diabetes
- Human-error tragedies (particularly car accidents)
Adults in sleep debt often fear being called “lazy,” leading them to work overtime in the name of productivity.
There are two common excuses that come from this perspective:
- “I have to get things done right now.” This rationale often leads people to rush in an effort to get their work done quickly, leading to error or subpar output. Great work takes time and requires intermittent rest throughout the process.
- “I can rest when I’m done.” More often than not, people using this reasoning are always working on new projects, meaning that they’ll never be “done.” The fear of missing out and buying into the myth that we can do it all (and have it all), results in never getting to actually enjoy any of it as we rush to the next thing.
You’re allowed to pause and relax for your wealth and your well-being.
Your value as a human being isn’t attached to exhaustion or productivity.
In the portfolio of your wealthy life make sure you are allocating all three of your wealthy life resources to play and rest
- Time
- Money
- Energy
These are the three ingredients we are given to create and live our wealthy lives.
How much of each are you consciously giving to play and rest.
In the Wealth Builder Club you get masterclasses on portfolio design for your assets and a wealth of courses and “wealth bites” on helping you create the greatest wealthy life portfolio too.
If you’re not yet a Wealth Builder Club member - CLICK HERE to get the details and join today.
Huge 'playful' love,
Ann
