QUESTIONS TO GET TO KNOW YOUR PARTNER'S MONEY WORLD

As part of the Money & Love Series use these fun and powerful question sets to help you discover your own and your partner's money world.

As you discover each other's fabulously freaky selves, be careful you don't go into judgement or panic. Stay in curiosity with your partner. 

Also do these inquiries in small chunks because it can be overwhelming as more of yourselves are revealed. 

1. What is your default money personality? Go here to discover the money personality types
• Saver?
• Spender?
• Avoider?
• Expander?
2. When you think about your financial wellbeing, do you tend to be
• Scared?
• Whimsical?
• Excited?
• Wanting to be rescued?
• Defensive?
• Certain?
• Uncertain?
3. If you won the lottery or inherited a Million Dollars what would you do?
4. In terms of financial well being, what do you / I want?
• If I / you had it all my / your way with regards to money… I / you would love to do / have / experience/ not have to do / experience ???
• What are my / your preferences when it comes to money management, investing, saving and spending.

FINANCIAL VALUES ALIGNMENT

USE THIS TO UNCOVER YOUR AND AN OTHERS FINANCIAL VALUES

Ask these two questions and both of you write down your answers. 

What are 10 things that are important to you in relation to money and your financial wellbeing?

What are 10 things that are NOT important to you in relation to money and your financial wellbeing?

Write down your answers before you share anything. This ensures neither of you modify your view to appease, please or accommodate the other.

Share your lists.

Each read your list aloud to the other in full.

Do NOT comment on the others list, make faces or take sharp breaths in panic. Try and receive this data from each other with open hearts appreciating the vulnerability of this process. Stay grateful, curious and not judgmental.

Review and celebrate where you have overlaps.

Note the areas where you may have big differences. Interesting. 

Do not dive into heavy discussions on those yet. You need to spend more time exploring what each value actually means for the other and how important each is in relation to the other important points in your lists.

FINANCIAL TRIGGERS AND EMOTIONAL HOOKS

QUESTIONS TO DIVE DEEPER INTO YOUR AND AN OTHERS FINANCIAL TRIGGERS AND EMOTIONAL HOOKS

Depending on how trusting you feel with each other about speaking the truth and how safe you feel with your truth being received, you could answer these verbally or write them down. 

Generally I prefer to write things down first as it also gives us space for our own reflection.

Ensure you both answer them and you don’t go down a rabbit hole on one person's answers. 

Also do NOT comment on each other's answers or judge them. 

Just hear and get to understand a bit more of each others world views

• How do you want to feel in relation to money?
• What do you not want to feel in relation to money?
• What do you want to be able to do in the context of your finances?
• What do you not want to have to do in the context of your finances?
• What frightens / worries you the most when you consider your finances?
• If you had a magic wand, what is one aspect of your finances you would love to change?
• When you feel anxious, scared, angry, frustrated, bored, lonely, misunderstood, judged, criticise - any hard to sit with emotion - are there any specific money and financial behaviours you are aware of. For example, 
• do you spend to numb these emotions, 
• do you contract and not spend money, 
• do you avoid looking at what is happening in your money world, 
• do you get over involved in tracking every penny?
• Do you rob your savings? 
• What or with whom is your money kryptonite - where you feel disempowered and uncertain and likely to betray yourself? For example, 
• when you need to ask for money owed to you? 
• when you tell people your prices? 
• when people ask you for money? 
• pricing and setting your value?  
• being late paying bills?
• What things about money can elicit an emotional charge for you? For example, 

• Being told what you can and can’t do with it?
• If you feel restricted or limited?
• If you feel unsafe?
• If you feel judged?
• If you feel you won’t fit in?
• If you feel financial matters are unfair?
• If you feel stupid or don’t know what the financial and investing jargon means?

MONEY STORIES, BELIEFS AND BAGGAGE 

QUESTIONS TO UNDERSTAND EACH OTHERS MONEY STORY, MONEY BAGGAGE AND MONEY BELIEFS

1. What is your earliest money memory? 
2. What is your most painful money-memory?
3. What is your most joyful money-memory?
4. How did these experiences shape your relationship with money?
5. In your family how was money spoken about?
6. Was investing, saving, debt ever spoken about and if so in what way?
7. How did your parents manage money in the household?
8. What three things did you parents teach you about money?
9. Which lessons have you applied in your financial life?
10. Did you feel rich, poor, or average financially growing up?
11. Would you consider your family as having been rich, poor or middle class and did your lived experience feel like that?
12. What were your family’s values around money?
13. What was your family's view on investing?
14. What is your greatest financial fear?
15. What is your view on debt and credit cards?
16. What are your most important financial goals?
17. What do you think you should be doing differently around money?