”You either win or you learn something”
This is the mindset you need to accelerate your success AND make the journey full of juicy living and ultimately worth doing.
As adults, we have been conditioned to be terrified of failure.
Just how failure averse we are was brought home to be a few months ago when I did a video on the power of failure and why failure is so important to success. It was entitled “You’re Going to Fail”.
Well, did I inadvertently stir some things up!!
I got bombarded with hate mail and my amazing customer support team got loads of flack from irritate people saying “how dare you say we’re going to fail!“, because people got so triggered by just the thought of failure.
The reality is we’ve become so afraid of it that it actually starts preventing us from learning and growing and having the life that we really, really want.
That is what this video is all about, so watch it now.
The bottom line is:
- if you want to succeed,
- if you want to create wealth,
- if you want to be financially successful,
- if you want to have achievement in any area of your life…
… you have to do the deep inner work around:
- your beliefs about success and failure,
- your rules of what needs to happen to have failed or succeeded, or to have won or lost.
This inner work will make all the difference.
I’ve learned so much on this topic from a dear friend of mine who, by almost every metric in our modern world, is amazingly successful. She’s a world champion in her chosen sport, she has a multi-million dollar online business in an area that she’s passionate about, she has amazing friendships, she has a huge amount of joy in her life, she’s financially free, AND she lives her life by this principle.
It’s from her that I got the saying
She lives it in a wholehearted way, and for her it’s the core principle that has enabled her to achieved in all of these areas.
The reason I love that phrase is because when you approach life through the lens of “you either win or you learn something”, no matter what you’re doing, both sides of the equation lead towards progress.
But extracting the lesson takes discipline.
For most people, the only lesson that they take from something where they don’t win or succeed immediately is, “oh well, that experiment didn’t work, I won’t do that again. That’s my lesson.”
That’s just too damn easy and where most people give up, way too soon.
That’s why I say it takes discipline to actually extract life expanding lessons.
So here’s the process to extract these juicy life enhancing lessons when you don’t get the desired outcome you want.
STEP 1: Stop and Chew.
Chew on on what happened. Extract the value, get the juice.
Most people just want to spit or swallow because they feel so uncomfortable with the taste of failure. If you want to live an expanded joy filled and financially free life, we’ve got to stop, and say “Okay. Maybe that didn’t feel so great, but let me stay with what’s happened, chew on it and digest what’s going on.”
STEP 2: Ask a Set of Quality Questions
Now that you’ve stopped and acknowledged what happened, the second step is asking yourself a set of quality questions.
Not crappy questions such as “why did I fail”, NO that type of question will take you on a downward spiral.
Quality questions like, “what did work well?”
It’s really important that we start analysing these things by first focusing on the things that did work. Most people jump in too quickly on what didn’t work well or what went wrong, which also becomes a downward spiral.
Start by digging deep into what did work well. It might take awhile. You might believe nothing worked well or that the whole experience was sh*t, but actually, there are always gems to be found. There is always a lesson.
“What worked well?” What was great about this experience, this learning, or the result that I got?
“What can I learn from this?”
“What could I have done differently, which could have taken me closer to the result that I had hoped to get?”
‘What would I do differently next time?”
This is really important because it reminds us that…
Everything in life is about progression, not perfection.
That is the attitude that is going to get you your financial freedom, that great relationship, that win in life.
Whatever it is that you’re wanting is going to come to you through a series of progressions generated by your “you win or you learn something” mindset.
STEP 3: Have Outcome AND Process-Driven Goals.
This step is the biggest juicy life expander of all. You must have both outcome goals and process-driven goals.
An outcome goal is the end result you are aiming for – it’s got a fixed destination, a fixed result.
A process-driven goal is about how you get to the outcome and who you are along the way. It’s about how the process. It’s about “do you love the journey?”
In our society we’re so fixated on the outcome goal, we can forget the importance of the process goal.
Consider how much attachment you have to the outcome goals and whether you are giving that same energy and importance to the process goals and making sure that the process followed to achieving your outcome goal is healthy, juicy and livening.
BEWARE THE “WHEN … THEN …” TRAP
The disconnect, pain and frustration from “failing” comes from believing our success, happiness, wealth, joy etc can only happen WHEN we’ve achieved a specific outcome.
WHEN I achieve this outcome…, THEN I can stop worrying, THEN I’m successful, THEN I can have fun….
That is one of the ways we rob ourselves of the juiciest things available in our lives right now.
We need both outcome and process-driven goals to experience and live our juiciest lives.
I used to be outcome obsessed but I’ve come to truly love process goals. The more I focus on these, the richer and juicier my life becomes and I’ve just learn so much more along the way.
As a result, my outcome goals have become so much easier and more enjoyable and I hit them more often when I make sure the process is really aligned to it.
STEP 4: Celebrate
The thing in all of this is to remember, on any action you take, be it towards creating a new business, doing your first index tracker investment, blitzing your debt, writing that book…
… to celebrate in exactly the same way, no matter the outcome.
Celebration should have nothing to do with achieving the outcome. Celebration is about the fact that you got out there, that you took action, that you dared to risk and feel uncomfortable and that you went after your rich, juicy life.
I’d love to know in the comments below:
- “How are you incorporating process-driven goals into your life?”, or
- “What area in your life could you be incorporating more focus on the quality of process you are following to achieve your outcome?” , and
- “What lesson are you taking from this to apply into your life to make it even richer, juicier and really full of life and joy?”
Remember to share as much detail as possible as thousands of Wealth Chef’s in the making come here each week for juicy wealth snacks, insight and inspiration as they create their juicy financially free lives too.
Your ideas and shares may trigger someone to have a big breakthrough.
Thanks as always for reading, watching and sharing so generously and for choosing to master this key ingredient money and live your juiciest life.
With huge love